I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
