I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
