Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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