i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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