This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
