he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
