do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
