so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
they need to just BURY HIM!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize