EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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