My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
this just has baby written all over it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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