just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Its about making memories worth repressing
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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