...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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