I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
