My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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