i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I currently don't understand fingers.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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