I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
