Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
