i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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