He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize