im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
