you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
