Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
