Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
