Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
