Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
