i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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