she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
