i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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