i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
