Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
