Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
