can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Porn is love you can see.
This girl is more easily done than said...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
