I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
