I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
third nipple confirmed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
