There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
