It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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