Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
