why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
