we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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