I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize