he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
