look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
