in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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