I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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