i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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