Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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