I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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