I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize