she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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