I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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