I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize