She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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