I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
