I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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