My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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