and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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