I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
