i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Bring me that man meat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
