i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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