I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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