what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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